A Peck of Pickled Peppers?

Just look at them.

We've got peppers galore and I don't know what to do with them. They're mostly habaneros because the bush has gotten so big, it's choked out the jalapenos bushes.

Almond Graham Squares

I found this one when searching for my last almond bar dessert. It was just too easy not to give a try, but still not the almond dessert I need. I am actually trying to replicate the almondine squares from the Laurel Street Bakery.


They certainly make up for the lack of almonds in my last almond bar attempt.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
• 1 (140z) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups sliced almonds

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees; line the bottom and sides of a 8-inch square with foil( release foil works great, if using release foil you don't have to use the cooking spray), coat with cooking spray.
2. I a medium mixing bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs, the can of sweetened condensed milk and the salt, stir until moistened.
3. Stir in 1 1/2 cups of the sliced almonds; spread mixture evenly in prepared pan (if mixture is very sticky, pat with moistened fingers), sprinkle the other 1/2 cup sliced almonds over the top, patting gently.
4. Bake until golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes; cool completely in pan.
5. Remove from pan; peel off foil, and cut into 16 squares with a serrated knife; squares will keep, in an airtight container at roomtemperture, for 4 to 5 days.

Thanksgiving on OKC

We made the drive to Oklahoma to visit with family for the holiday. I didn't do very well taking pictures and documenting the week, but I am sure you can imagine...wake, eat, rest, eat, rest, play, eat....you know, just like any other holiday with the family.


We celebrated Aidan's birthday...

with a yummy dinner and moose shaped cake that later lost his M&M facial features to the chocolate bandit and her blond sidekick.

We watched him open his gifts that provided entertainment for the little boys and big boys.




We loved seeing Charlie's nephews, Rhys, Aidan, and Eoin. We're not able to be together nearly enough.


They've changed quite a bit since we last visited with them.

Eoin loves M&Ms! It was the decoration of choice on his turkey cookies.

Thanksgiving dinner was yummy, complete with turkey and all of the traditional sides.


Thanks everybody for cooking! The only thing Charlie and I did was show up and eat!

I got a new holiday place card courtesy of Aidan.

No Thanksgiving holiday would be complete without football. And in Oklahoma, it's Boomer Sooner! Even in the cold, with wind and snow flurries.


I never thought I'd be sitting in an outdoor stadium, wearing 5 layers of clothes and freezing my buns watching college football.

Charlie said it was practice for Broncos games.



I survived the game, an OU win against OSU, but the Broncos better have an indoor stadium before I get there!

We're looking forward to more of the same at Christmas.

kän(t)-stər-ˈnā-shən

Charlie had been throwing around this big ole SAT word over the holiday, and finally, I had to ask about it. The man is not above making up words and using them with total confidence.

He was right. Consternation is not only a word, but he was using it correctly.

Let it be known: Charlie was right. Erin was wrong.

Looks like I'll be downhill skiing in December...

That is if we're not in the poorhouse from all of this retail therapy I've been engaging in.

It's a chemical pregnancy. Technically, I am pregnant and miscarrying. hCG beta came back at 6.9. Doctor says that we'd need to be in the 30-50 range to consider having a shot of it being a viable pregnancy by today. An embryo implanted but stopped developing.

My clinic had a 70% success rate for women in my age group according to the last SART data, and 70% of 5 day transfers are successful at many clinics. We'll be back to see the doctor next week to talk about when and if he thinks we'll ever be in that group.

Thanksgiving

So, I'm a few days late, but better late than never, right?

If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice.
-Maurice Eckhart

We love Mutts. It's the same sentiment each day during the week of Thanksgiving. It's a good reminder for me that I wouldn't trade my life with anyone. Really.

And with that, I give thanks....

• for pooches who keep the floors clean while I cook
• for the sound of the fluttering wings of bees in the angel trumpet blossoms
• for glittery coconuts on a Tuesday
• for zinnias blooming through the fall
• for walks to Casmento's and Creole Creamery
• for sunrises in Audubon park as we walk together, sometimes in silence and sometimes chatting, but always content
  
• for the scent of night blooming jasmine as I step out the front door
• for cochon de lait poboys
• for Tuesdays on the couch watching "House" together (soon to add 24 and America Idol!)
• for fish fries at the lake
• for the latest nickname, "Tons of Buns" aka "TB"
  
• for purple and gold on Saturdays and black and gold on Sundays
• for half and half in my coffee and bagels at Laurel Street
• for unconditional love

7dp5dt

Home pregnancy test = Negative

No pregnancy symptoms.

Blood test on Monday.

Has it been 3 years already?

The lovely couple on this day in 2004...


And three years later in our kitchen this morning...

We need to improve the self portrait techniques.

I'm sure Charlie doesn't know this, but I always told my grandmother that a prerequisite for any potential husband was that he must put Christmas lights on the house each year and like it. Did you see our house last year? I'm not so sure he liked putting them up, but he sure liked the compliments from our neighbors and sitting beneath the giant ornaments on the brightly lit porch. I love how much he loves the holidays in our decorated home.

No wonder it took me so long to find the perfect mate, right? He reminds me daily of why I waited and how I knew when I'd waited long enough.

Our home is full of music and song. He's always got the stereo going and is singing something. And Charlie continuously rewrites lyrics to well known diddies and sings them to me ALL the time. One of my favorites has a line about "my little Erin O. girl" to the tune of the Neil Sedaka's "Calender Girl."

He's generous with his kisses and doesn't leave the house without giving one. My favorites are the ones on my forehead, that usually come during times of reassurance.

Who's Cheewee LaRoux? He rarely calls me by my name. He has a laundry list of nicknames for me, and I'm not talking about your generic "Baby." The many include: e-wee, CheeWee, Little Erin, LaRuby, and each season seems to bring a new nickname.

He still sends sweet text messages. It's not just for courting. And he seems to know just when I need it most.

Happy anniversary, Charlie. Thank you for loving me for all that I am and accepting me for exactly who I am. Thank you for pushing me to always be my best self and knowing when to push harder and when to let up. You are my best friend.

Preparations

Mardi Gras comes early this year. And with it being so early, it's quite likely that it'll be chilly. Costumes need to start coming together around here, and they need to be flexible to accomodate varying weather conditions.

I have an idea that I'd like to stick to, but it involves my buying a pattern and material and hiring a seamstress. When I stepped into Marshall's this morning, I found the perfect "Plan B" just in case by intentions aren't carried out in time.

A sneak peek:


It wasn't in the costume section and oddly enough, it wasn't even on the same rack where I found my moomoo.

Now I'll be on the look out for wigs and warm under layers.

Almond Squares

I need to improve this recipe somehow. It's so easy, but a bit too floury tasting. I didn't have the right pan size, so maybe that had something to do with it.

Anyone with a good almond bar recipe? It's got to be easy.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup sugar
• 1 egg, separate,
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 2 cups sifted flour
• 2-3 ounces sliced almonds

Directions:

1. Set oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease an 11x16 inch jelly roll pan.
3. In an electric mixer cream the butter and sugar until light.
4. Add the egg yolk and vanilla.
5. With the mixer set on its lowest speed, beat in the flour.
6. Pat the batter into the prepared pan, pressing it into the corners.
7. Beat the white until frothy.
8. Spread the white on the batter and sprinkle it with almonds.
9. Transfer the pan to the hot oven and bake the mixture for 15 to 18 minutes or until it is golden brown.
10. Cool and cut into squares.
    

In the garden

It's the middle of November and my fall seedlings are struggling. The only thing doing well are the nasturtiums.

The gourds are blossoming and I hope to get some fruit.


I have designs on expanding the herb garden as soon as I'm able to get digging again. The parsley and cilantro are coming up nicely.

The constant flow of butterflies through the yard amazes me! The pentas are in full bloom and I'll add more of them to the butterfly garden next year.


Waiting to see what the cold weather, if it ever gets here, will do to the flowers. I can tell the growing season is coming to an end as the wisteria doesn't need a weekly haircut. Hoping to see some irises and amaryllis blooming soon.

Life goes on

Thanks, J and J for the bouquet and well wishes!

I can't say I'm not thinking about those embryos, but I am moving on, and frankly I am trying to prepare myself for a negative result. It'll be good to go away this week to have a bit of a distraction.

Charlie's still poking me each night with the progesterone. I find it hard to believe that the 1.5 inch needle really makes it through my cushy rear end layer into the muscle. It looks long, but I really wonder if it penetrates the blubber.


The nurse warned that the progesterone in oil would leak a little, but interestingly enough, it wasn't until the seventh injection in the left cheek that we got a bit of leaking. So the right cheek got its chance, and no leaking. I figured sticking to one cheek was better because then I'd only have one achy, lumpy side rather than two.

Charlie's been a great companion on the crazy train, giving hugs and kisses on my forehead, swallowing my unusually snappy tone, and making many trips up and down the stairs to fulfill my demands requests. He even cleaned the bathrooms, floors, and pooches to prevent me from doing anything strenuous while satiating my need for a clean house. I think he'll be glad to get out of town for a bit as well.

Today I spent some time outside just putzing around the yard. Mostly just looking and planning on what I'd like to do. I read, for about the 10th time (this is no exaggeration), every bit of information on the web about day 5 morulas, did a few low impact chores, met with Liz for a short walk and a coffee, and generally just hung around the house.

I'll be glad when we're moving on... to where ever it is we're supposed to go.

1dp5dt

Today is the 1st day past the 5 day transfer, and I am still in bed.

I feel fine, but have been spending hours on end reading and rereading the little information on the internet about morulas, specifically morulas not reaching blasts by day 5.

The nurse called this morning to check in with me and to give the embryologist report that no embryos developed to be frozen. So, I asked her about the transferred embryos. She said there was some concern that the embryos had not reached blast by the fifth day, but Doctor had not yet reviewed the chart to determine what would need to be done differently next time with the disclaimer "if we need to do this again."

So now I am teary and not much feeling like getting out of bed. This sucks.

Family Resemblance

Well, if all goes as we hope, this will be the first picture in the baby book. Obviously these are Charlie's babies. They've got the "Bea Arthur" old lady, big hairdo my husband sports when needing to see the barber.

Mother Nature is amazing. Man's knowledge is amazing. I am so fascinated by this entire process.

Thankfully we had these two ready and waiting when we got there this morning. They were not quite at the blastocyst stage which usually occurs at day 5. They are morulas. Morulas are typically day 4 embryos. I guess that means they were a day behind in development, but I am not sure how problematic that is or what that indicates. We'll continue to hold hope.

We have three others that were only in the 10-12 cell range that they'll watch and if they continue to develop, they'll freeze them. Doctor thinks that's unlikely though. And the other two stopped developing.

The doctor manually filled my bladder (and then drained it manually) so as to create a sharper image on the ultrasound screen. That was a full bladder and the ultrasonographer pushed and prodded to get just the right image.

We watched as the catheter entered. On another screen we were able to see the embryos being sucked up under the microscope by the embryologist. And in they went. We could see the bubble on the screen right inside the uterus. Doctor said all fluid in the uterus had cleared. We watched on the screen as the embryologist double checked the catheter under the microscope to be sure no one was left behind.

Nurse Charlie isn't feeling up to snuff today and was hesitant to go in with me. (He slept in the guest room last night to avoid infecting me.) But the nurse convinced him with his mask, he should be fine. I am glad he was there to see it all happen, and it was nice to look into his eyes for comfort as I thought I was going pee on the table!


So now bed rest for at least 24 hours and then couch rest and light activity for another 2-3 days. And then we begin the wait.

Pregnancy test scheduled for Monday, November 26th, but I've got my stockpile of home pregnancy tests which will be put to use in about 7 days. I know they aren't reliable in such circumstances, but no matter the result on the screen, something about doing them makes me feel better.

Well, I am getting thirsty...off to ring the bell for the nurse.

How lucky are we?!?

Although this journey has been rather lonely, the last few days we have been lifted by your emails, cards, flowers, calls, messages, and good vibes.

Thank you.

It's not easy for us to talk about ourselves and our struggles. No really, seriously. The blog is the only safe spot for that sort of stuff. Thank you for reading. Thank you for checking on us. Thank you for your love, friendship, and support. Thank you for reminding us that we're not alone, and you'll always be there.

Is 8 Enough?

Doctor called about 11:30 today. Only one embryo remains a grade 1, and it is five celled. Although, he said, in an hour it may be up to six or seven cells. That one's probably male, a late bloomer, you know.

Four are grade 2, two with eight cells and two with six cells. And two are grade 3, each with six cells.

The embryologist will tuck them all into the incubator and they will not be examined again until just prior to transfer early Thursday morning. So no reports tomorrow.

Hoping that all continue to divide and thrive. That'd mean that we'd possibly have some to freeze for a second try without having to repeat the stimulation cycle and retrieval.

I bet doctor recommends transfer of only one if the current 5 celled guy remains a grade 1. At this point I am hoping for at least two or three to be transferred. All this effort, I want higher chances of success, so I am thinking more is better. Suppose I need to read up on this, and be prepared to make an informed decision Thursday morning.

Brisket

Ingredients

1. Powdered garlic
2. 1 pkg. onion soup mix
3. 1 can coke
4. 1 c. catsup
5. 1 brisket of beef (3 or 4 lb.)

Directions:

• Sprinkle brisket with garlic.
• Mix coke, soup mix and catsup together.
• Pour mixture over brisket.
• Bake with fat side up at 325 degrees for 3 hours (loosely cover pan with tin foil).

"I know, I know, a recipe with soup mix, garlic powder, and a can of coke?" you say. But this is really very good! I do, however, prefer the Elizabeth-ized version.

Liz helped me with this recipe one day, and when I discovered my cupboard was void of soup mix, she chopped up some onion, and browned the brisket and onions with some minced garlic. She then subbed some "Better than Bouillon" from the pantry. Still easy, and ten times better than the recipe itself.

So tonight we'll have this with a starch and some veggies and then I'll slice the rest, and reheat in the gravy to have on sandwiches. Yum, yum, good.

Day 5 It Is

Doctor called today with an update. It goes something like this:

• We're down to 7 embryos
• 4 are grade 1: 1 of which is 2 celled, 1 is 3 celled, and 2 are 4 celled
• 2 are grade 2, that is, they have slight fragmentation, but he still thinks they are high quality for being grade 2. They are each 4 celled.
• And then we've got 1 "trashy" one with three cells. He used trashy as a descriptor but went on to say that he has seen several successful IVF transfers with similar trashy embryos.
• His advice: 5 day transfer on Thursday

So the story here is that all they, those white coated, high salaried doctors and embryologists, have to go on when selecting the embryo most likely to thrive in my uterus is sight. Science is pretty darn amazing, but there is currently no device or test that identifies which embryo has the best chance of survival. Selection of the best is pretty much determined solely on looks: who's symmetrical, who has clean cell walls, who has the most evenly distributed cells.

Waiting five days, rather than three, separates the men from the boys, so to speak. If the embryo continues to develop after five days on the petri dish it thereby distinguishes itself as the strongest of the bunch. And with further development, it's easier to see who really looks best.

But, big BUT, there is a chance that none will live for five days on a petri dish. Now that doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't have made it in the uterus. Or maybe it does. Fertility research hasn't quite come that far as of yet, that I've read. Regardless, there is a risk associated with waiting. Many women have successful three day transfers, but the success rates are much higher with five day transfers.

So we're waiting until Thursday, unless of course, the embryologist goes in tomorrow and finds half of them have died. In that case, we'd go in and transfer what was left.

How am I feeling? Physically I am still in a lot of pain. Each step, foot hitting the pavement, jars my insides, and just plain aches. I am bloated and tender. I wish I could exercise. I miss my walks with Charlie and the dogs for both the physical and emotional release.

And today I felt a twinge of excitement when talking to the doctor. He told me I was his star producer this cycle and he made me feel comfortable in waiting for day five. But that could all change tomorrow, or even tonight for that matter. The crazy train has this weird way of blowing it's whistle when you least expect it.

Party on the petri dish

Yesterday, post retrieval. The lengths we go to to document our life!

Yesterday was more difficult than I expected. I was in a significant amount of pain but refused pain killers thinking it'd get better or I was just being a wimp. Why do I do that?

Doc retrieved 10 follicles. Makes me wonder where the other 10 are at this moment. I know some were not yet mature, so they're probably hanging out, but the others are probably partially responsible for how run down I feel.

After the retrieval, Charlie provided his men, and some courting occurred on the petri dish, resulting in 8 of the 10 becoming a couple. Yes, 8 out of the 10 fertilized. Better than I thought, and I hope they keep on developing.

Today I am feeling a little better, but not much. I am rather tender and bloated. Trying to avoid OHSS but think it's setting in, at least to a mild extent.

Today I'm wearing a "dress" I got from the nightgown rack at Marshall's. Charlie endearingly refers to it as my moo moo.


It's about the only thing that doesn't painfully press down on my tummy, and to my surprise, I am not the least bit concerned that I am out and about in a moo moo. I feel that bad.

The nurse is to call tomorrow with updates on the cell division. Hopefully we'll have several to choose from for transfer, rather than having to implant the lone survivor. We're most likely looking at three day transfer on Tuesday.

Searching

Terms googled in the last 12 hours:

• IVF, endometiral lining
• IVF, endometrial fluid
• IVF, follicle size
• endometrial stripe
• SART data
• IVF, embryos transferred
• FET
• 4 day transfer vs. 5 day transfer
• number of follicles, IVF retrieval
• mature follicle
• hCG trigger shot, home pregnancy test

And the thing is, none of these are new search term combinations and this is probably not my last time typing them in. I imagine it'll be 100 or so more times, at least, before we have our pregnancy test. If I added up all the time I spend reading infertility information on the net, I'd have enough time for a week long vacation, I'm sure. Please let this end.

Perfect 10

10 eggs retrieved.

I feel disappointed with that number for some reason. I thought there'd be more, and I think more would give us a better chance at a five day transfer, which has higher success rates than a three day transfer. Doctor said it's a good number, so says Charlie. I don't remember much.

I'm considerably bloated and crampy, but glad this part is over. We'll hear from them sometime tomorrow with results on fertilization.

Bring on the eggs

Blurry photo of my arm, post near daily blood draws

Today' s numbers:
8: ultrasound appointment time
2.5: hours at the office
9: endometrial lining
9: follicles on the right
11: follicles on the left
22: lead follicle size
12: follicles measuring over 17
8:30: trigger shot this evening
36: hours before retrieval

Went in again today for an ultrasound and blood work. Doc thinks my stimulation looks "text book" but he still wants to "see what happens" with this endometrial fluid. That's got me worried, although he didn't specifically say I should worry. But, that's what I do.

I'll trigger with the hcg injection in less than an hour, and hopefully he'll retrieve many mature, fertilize-able eggs Saturday morning.

I signed the consent forms today, complete with checks next to potential effects of paralysis, brain damage, and death. Well, I suppose those are well outside the scope of probable, but also included in the somewhat more likely category were damage to the bowel, ovary, and bladder.

I get a brief reprieve from injections tomorrow before beginning the regimen of progesterone injections coupled with estrogen patches on Saturday. I'll remain on antibiotic and steroids for a few days before scaling the pills down to a mere baby aspirin and prenatal vitamin.

More numbers to come on Saturday.

All aboard!

The crazy train has pulled into the station.

Any fragment of emotional stability I had over the last week is officially gone.

Poor Charlie. Poor, poor Charlie. Really, send your best wishes to my darling husband. He's about to board the train and go for a ride!

Nineteen

Lefty pulled into the lead with 10. Still 9 follicles on the right. I have 5 follicles measuring 18 mm and several others over 15mm. The endometrial lining is up to 7mm...not too shabby. Doctor says we're looking good. Another ultrasound at 8am tomorrow.

Unless something unexpected is revealed by the labs, we're set for one more day of stimulation injections, another injection to suppress ovulation this evening, and then a trigger shot tomorrow night. That will put us with no injections on Friday, and the egg retrieval at 7:30 am on Saturday.

We are registered to run the Fall Classic Saturday morning, but now we'll just be trying to figure out how to pick up our numbers and t-shirts. Darn.

At the retrieval Charlie will learn how to give the 50mg progesterone injection in my rump. I'm really not looking forward to that. And I know it's just as hard for him to hit me with that 1.5 inch needle as it is for me to take it.

After that, we're looking at Tuesday if it's a three day transfer or Thursday if it's a five day transfer. Then back to letting nature run her course and the two week wait.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pies

Who wouldn't like a whoopie pie, right?

We had these at a small New England bakery in September and I happened across the recipe last week. So easy. So yummy. A perfect fall treat.


Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter (1 stick melted, 1/2 stick softened)
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs, at room temperature, lightly beaten
• 1 cup canned pumpkin puree
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
• 1 tablespoon pumpkin spice
  
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon plus 2 pinches salt
• 1 2/3 cup flour
• 4 ounces cream cheese, chilled
• 1 cup confectioners' sugar

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper
• Whisk together melted butter and brown sugar until smooth.
• Whisk in pumpkin, eggs, spice, 1 tsp vanilla, baking powder, baking soda, and 3/4 teaspoon salt
• Using a rubber spatula, fold in the flour
• Using an ice cream scoop or tablespoon, drop 12 generous mounds of batter onto each baking sheet
• Bake until spongy to touch, about 10 minutes
• Transfer to rack to cook
• Using and electric mixer, cream the softened butter with the cream cheese.
• Add the confectioners' sugar and remaining 2 pinches of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
• Mix on low speed until blended, then beat on medium high speed until fluffy, about 2 minutes
• Spread the flat side of 12 cakes with the cream cheese frosting.
• Top each with another cake
  

More eggs

So we're up to 18 follicles today, nine on each side. It's as if the ovaries are in competition, and each won't be outdone by the other. They range in size from 15 to 3. About half are in the 15-12mm range. The endometrial lining is at 6mm, with the fluid reducing and looking better.

I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor this afternoon as to my hormone levels, but I will most likely be adding another shot, Ganirelix, to the regimen tonight. It'll slow down my body's desire to ovulate, enabling the eggs to mature a bit more before retrieval.

I go back Wednesday morning for another ultrasound and bloodwork. He estimates the trigger shot will be Wednesday or Thursday with retrieval being Friday or Saturday.

My back is feeling pretty achy today and I'm generally feeling crabby. Feeling bloated and tired don't really help my mood either.

I've got myself a cheerleader, Amy, who has been checking in on me nearly every day. She doesn't even know me, but knows my emotions quite well. She's been here, and has had two successful IVF procedures after multiple failed IUIs. Amy keeps reminding me this is an exciting time, the beginning of something new, and is definitely going to work. I can't bring myself to shift into that mindset. Just trying to avoid disappointment.

I'm no potato

The doctor's advice: "Just be a couch potato for the month of November."

Ok, sounds great, right? Someone telling you to lie around and do pretty much nothing productive for the entire month. Put your feet up, veg out, and catch up on those shows you just love on TLC.

So why is it that I have this urgent desire to clean out the refrigerator and organize the cabinets? Why can't the blinds and transoms wait for their dusting another month? Why do the baseboards HAVE to have a scrubbing today? And those fans look awfully cobwebby...when did that happen? Why is it that I can't bring myself to just sit?

I've resisted the urge to trim the tree out front and start hacking away at the ginger needing trimming, but the housework is calling me. "Erin, Erin, clean me. Make me sparkle, make me shine."

I did some cleaning today, but finally stopped after Charlie fussed. I really wanted to get up on a ladder and clean the transoms and dust the blinds, but relented. I did manage to wipe down the appliances and outside of the cabinets, clean the fans upstairs, and dust upstairs. There's lots more to be done, and I really wanted the house to be clean and ready for holiday decorating after Turkey Day, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Hopefully the twinkling Christmas lights will hide the dust and dirt.

So now I am off to post things for sale on Craigslist. All of a sudden I have this need to rid the house of all this stuff we don't need or have room for. That's productive, and I can accomplish it with my feet up.

Eggs, eggs, eggs

Preparing for an injection: 150 iu Follistim and 75 iu Menopur

Ultrasound and labs today.

Everything looks as it should, as it has in past stimulation cycles.

Bloodwork shows hormone levels within normal limits. The ultrasound revealed 16 developing follicles. There were only 11 on Monday. Several are "9s" and need to measure between 16mm and 20mm before triggering to be considered mature. The RE said they all looked "good" and were symmetrical. The endometrial lining is measuring 4mm and ideally should be between 8-12 for implantation. In the past I have only been as thick as 7.

Some fluid was present in the uteran cavity which he sounded concerned about but didn't expand upon, so I asked. Why don't doctors just tell you things? Do they not realize that patients, especially smart ones like myself, are able to pick up on their facial expressions, body language, and their intense examination of particular ultrasound images? And my imagination is often much worse than the truth?!? He explained, after my asking, that for some women it is a sign of infection, but since I had been cultured and tested over and over and over, he thought there was little chance of it being a sign of infection and he thought it would work itself out.

Overall my numbers are right where they should be. I am responding to the medications and I will continue with the same doses. My next ultrasound and lab appointment is first thing Monday morning.

Until then... I am trying to relax and looking for projects that don't include heavy lifting or exertion. I am lifting my feet to increase blood flow to the uterus, and not doing anything that would cause competition with the uterus for blood.

Deep breath.

It's a wrap

Yep, it's done. All of my packages that need to be shipped are wrapped and awaiting packaging. I'll be doing that over the weekend, but will save the trip to the post office until the end of the month.

I have a handful of gifts left to purchase, and the Christmas shopping will be done.

This is the third year I've used this wrapping paper and I think I may just see the end of the rolls. Gives me reason to hit those after Christmas sales!

The Road Home Update

We got our gold letter today offering a compensation grant of $26,000.

Wow.

What to do? What to do?

The Road Home offers several "options", but as we see it we really have only two...

We can accept the grant and agree to live in the home for a certain period of time. I think it's five years but future buyers could agree to carry out the remaining years on your contract. Point is, it can't become a rental.

-OR-

We can sell the house and assign the grant to the buyer.

So really it's only one option because we can't stay in the house for five years, and would potentially have difficulty finding a buyer to carry out the remaining years on the contract. And I don't think we could sell our current home quick enough, regardless.

In hindsight, it would have benefited us financially to sit tight and remain in Broadmoor. But we acted under the duress of post storm chaos and really just wanted to feel we were moving on and doing something to "fix and control" our situation.

So here we are, with three homes, that we're going to have a hell of a time unloading. Here's to life lessons, right?

Wishbone Flower this morning

Not sure how much longer this annual will bloom. I know that it self seeds so I have high hopes for it coming back next year. Learned this season that it grows and blooms equally well in sun and shade.