Day 5 It Is

Doctor called today with an update. It goes something like this:

• We're down to 7 embryos
• 4 are grade 1: 1 of which is 2 celled, 1 is 3 celled, and 2 are 4 celled
• 2 are grade 2, that is, they have slight fragmentation, but he still thinks they are high quality for being grade 2. They are each 4 celled.
• And then we've got 1 "trashy" one with three cells. He used trashy as a descriptor but went on to say that he has seen several successful IVF transfers with similar trashy embryos.
• His advice: 5 day transfer on Thursday

So the story here is that all they, those white coated, high salaried doctors and embryologists, have to go on when selecting the embryo most likely to thrive in my uterus is sight. Science is pretty darn amazing, but there is currently no device or test that identifies which embryo has the best chance of survival. Selection of the best is pretty much determined solely on looks: who's symmetrical, who has clean cell walls, who has the most evenly distributed cells.

Waiting five days, rather than three, separates the men from the boys, so to speak. If the embryo continues to develop after five days on the petri dish it thereby distinguishes itself as the strongest of the bunch. And with further development, it's easier to see who really looks best.

But, big BUT, there is a chance that none will live for five days on a petri dish. Now that doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't have made it in the uterus. Or maybe it does. Fertility research hasn't quite come that far as of yet, that I've read. Regardless, there is a risk associated with waiting. Many women have successful three day transfers, but the success rates are much higher with five day transfers.

So we're waiting until Thursday, unless of course, the embryologist goes in tomorrow and finds half of them have died. In that case, we'd go in and transfer what was left.

How am I feeling? Physically I am still in a lot of pain. Each step, foot hitting the pavement, jars my insides, and just plain aches. I am bloated and tender. I wish I could exercise. I miss my walks with Charlie and the dogs for both the physical and emotional release.

And today I felt a twinge of excitement when talking to the doctor. He told me I was his star producer this cycle and he made me feel comfortable in waiting for day five. But that could all change tomorrow, or even tonight for that matter. The crazy train has this weird way of blowing it's whistle when you least expect it.