We had our psychoanalysis for the adoption done on Friday afternoon. We wrote her a check for $700, answered her questions, and listened to her drone on and on and on about her life. Hopefully we'll have the report in a week or so.
We both agreed the visit confirmed any speculations on whether or not psychiatrists enter the field to help others or to really find on what's going on with themselves... This woman was a kook!
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Adoption Update
We are in the middle of the trying to get all of this paperwork together to DHL to Honduras. Nothing is easy. Nothing.
Current sticking points:
Current sticking points:
- Everything must be notarized. Doctor's reports, letters of recommendation, employment verification, everything. Can I really ask my doctor to have a statement that we're in good health notarized? Isn't that really outside the realm of her professional duty? (Friends who've written us recommendation letters, however, will be getting a request in the very near future!) We've found a notary who happens to be a friend, but he too is bound by the limits of his professional duty. Not sure how we'll handle this, but it's got to happen fast.
- Many of our documents are about to be out of timeline. We've only recently come to realize that everything must be dated within a year of each other. Makes sense. I should have realized this and looked into it from the get go. Our blood work, urinalysis, and yes, the stool examination will have to be redone.
- We need a psychological analysis, separate from the home study. Sounds simple enough, but most psychologists we've contacted have waiting lists until the spring and exorbitant fees. We're talking in the $2000+ range. Yes, $2000 for a three hour appointment and a written report. Charlie is so frustrated by this he commented he may have to be drugged to be deemed psychologically fit. We've scheduled an appointment for later this month.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Notice of Favorable Determination
We've received paperwork from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services that our application for a child of "either gender, age birth up to two years" has been approved and forwarded to the American Embassy in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.
Not bad considering we initiated the application on March 15th, had fingerprints on April 12, and had to redo some paperwork the second week of June. So now I need to get down to business, and get this paperwork knocked out. I have been unmotivated to do it because there is so much, and I am not totally sure I am doing it all correctly. It is kind of trial and error when working with Honduran courts. But I have 18 months from the 21st of July to get this process completed before the orphan petition with Immigration expires. How's that for a motivator?
Let's hope Charlie's passport renewal gets processed before the 18 month mark. The press concerning passports has made us a bit nervous.
So, now, as I look at our approval I think it would have been better to have expressed a more flexible range in ages for our potential child. The approval is based on the home study, which was based on interviews with us. When we started this process we decided we really wanted a child under 2 years. And we still do. However, throughout this all we have changed our views on us as parents and adoption, and are open to older children and sibling groups as well. In speaking with the ever so helpful USCIS agent (please note the sarcasm in my voice), I understood that the change of the approval wouldn't be difficult (it's all relative!) but would require an addendum to the home study and immigration paperwork. I suppose we will cross this bridge when we come to it, if a child over the age of two or a sibling group should present itself as the match for our family. But, I know for next time, right?
So my goals today include contact personnel for my school district to compose a letter regarding my employment as well as locating the Honduran Consulate in Houston who I've been told has some experience with adoptions and the necessary paperwork. Regular updates to follow from here on out!
Not bad considering we initiated the application on March 15th, had fingerprints on April 12, and had to redo some paperwork the second week of June. So now I need to get down to business, and get this paperwork knocked out. I have been unmotivated to do it because there is so much, and I am not totally sure I am doing it all correctly. It is kind of trial and error when working with Honduran courts. But I have 18 months from the 21st of July to get this process completed before the orphan petition with Immigration expires. How's that for a motivator?
Let's hope Charlie's passport renewal gets processed before the 18 month mark. The press concerning passports has made us a bit nervous.
So, now, as I look at our approval I think it would have been better to have expressed a more flexible range in ages for our potential child. The approval is based on the home study, which was based on interviews with us. When we started this process we decided we really wanted a child under 2 years. And we still do. However, throughout this all we have changed our views on us as parents and adoption, and are open to older children and sibling groups as well. In speaking with the ever so helpful USCIS agent (please note the sarcasm in my voice), I understood that the change of the approval wouldn't be difficult (it's all relative!) but would require an addendum to the home study and immigration paperwork. I suppose we will cross this bridge when we come to it, if a child over the age of two or a sibling group should present itself as the match for our family. But, I know for next time, right?
So my goals today include contact personnel for my school district to compose a letter regarding my employment as well as locating the Honduran Consulate in Houston who I've been told has some experience with adoptions and the necessary paperwork. Regular updates to follow from here on out!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Where We Stand
So I'm home. Six days in Honduras, and all I can report is, the process is in motion. Unfortunately there is nothing deifinitive to report, as usual.
Next step here is to file an i600a with USCIS. This is a petition to bring an orphan to the U.S. It is valid for 18 months after approval. And I will also make contact with two agencies INFHA reports to have worked with in an attempt to see if they can provide some insight into getting an adoption approved in Honduras.
After that I will check in with Señora Pinto every other week to see what's happening in Honduras.
Then wait.
There were certainly moments that I wondered what in the world was I doing. I thought I should just go home and enjoy the life Charlie and I share. We want a family, but this is quite a stress filled endeavor with no end in sight. And then there was the interaction with the children at SOS which affirmed our deisre not only to be parents, but to adopt.
Next step here is to file an i600a with USCIS. This is a petition to bring an orphan to the U.S. It is valid for 18 months after approval. And I will also make contact with two agencies INFHA reports to have worked with in an attempt to see if they can provide some insight into getting an adoption approved in Honduras.
After that I will check in with Señora Pinto every other week to see what's happening in Honduras.
Then wait.
There were certainly moments that I wondered what in the world was I doing. I thought I should just go home and enjoy the life Charlie and I share. We want a family, but this is quite a stress filled endeavor with no end in sight. And then there was the interaction with the children at SOS which affirmed our deisre not only to be parents, but to adopt.
Faith
The last day in Honduras involved a visit to the cathedral. We sat and watched as people kneeled to pray and offer gifts of money and flowers.
There was a constant flow of people, most just passing through, praying only for a few moments. Hispanics, especially in Cental America, are devout Catholics. They attend mass and have tradional Catholic ideals.
I'm Catholic and believe in God. I feel comfortable in church, yet as I watched the men and women come through and offer prayer, it dawned on me that I need to change my views of prayer and God.
Since the storm, I often pray for something...for our house to be ok, the next treatment to work, for the adoption process to go smoothly. Really, the list is endless. I even got my grandmother to go to church and light a candle and say a prayer that the IUI would be successful.
I didn't even think this to be anything like when I was a little girl praying for an A on a test or Santa bringing the perfect toy. These are *big* things I'm asking God to consider. But asking, no matter the outcome, didn't make me feel any better.
What I really need to pray for is to find my strength, the strength to accept life and its consequences with grace.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
The Oasis
Today we met Señora Zonia Pinto at her office in order to travel to an orphanage on the outskirts of San Pedro. She phoned earlier and prefaced the trip with caution. She explained we would travel through small villages without “typical” amenities and the roads were unpaved. Naturally, this made Daddy a bit uneasy.
Each morning the newspaper features graphic photos of men and women murdered. Front page stories always revolve around crime. Not too long ago, three cars forced a bus off the road, and the bus passengers were robbed of all belongs, including the clothes on their backs. Although horrific, these passengers’ lives were spared. This case is just one of many, most of which end with bullets to the heads of innocent victims.
Despite this, I took her warning lightly, partly because I still have a naive attitude of a youngish traveler and have seen my share of Honduran villages, but mainly because I felt she was saying it really for our sake as Americans so we wouldn’t be wide eyed viewing the conditions in which people live.
When in Teguz she had a similar disclaimer before taking us to Don Pepe’s for plato typico. I told her I wanted beans, crema, rice, avocado, and I knew she’d come through. She did feel compelled to “warn” us of the condition of the restaurant, as it is in no way American. And sure enough, Don Pepe did not cater to tourists. It was Honduran in each regard, and exactly what I was hoping to find while in Tegucigalpa. I was quite content there, but she wouldn’t even let me use the toilets in Don Pepe.
So I figured this was a similar warning. If she really had concerns about safety, she wouldn’t be driving us there.
The 25 minute drive took us along dirt roads, past horse drawn work carts, and neighborhoods constructed entirely of corrugated tin and cardboard, before arriving at S.O.S. Honduras.
Daddy had thought for the past few days from conversations that we were going to a place called “Oasis”. Although he was wrong about the name, S.O.S. is an absolute oasis for the children who live there as well as the families it services through its community outreach program.
Although it lies near the neighborhoods of extreme poverty where families live in one room, without running water, and use a portion of the river bank just yards from their homes as a dump, SOS Honduras is pristine. Its grounds are filled with neatly trimmed ficus trees surrounded by carefully manicured lawn. The directors greeted us and explained the mission of SOS and the lives of those that live here.
The children at SOS are not considered to be orphans because they have not legally been declared so by the courts; therefore they consider them to be in foster care. That also means that the children are not eligible for adoption, unless specific agreements are reached directly with the child’s parents. Five to eight children live in one of 14 homes with what the director referred to as a “god parent.” These women acting as god parents are all Honduran and typically were unable to earn a livable wage before moving to SOS. They are not paid, but are provided with room and board.
The director proudly showed us the facility, taking us to several homes on the grounds. Each had a few bedrooms, a kitchen, bath, and a small living area. They were modestly furnished and impeccably clean. Each of the little beds was made, and some had the eldest child preparing dinner in the kitchen.
Most impressive were the children. They watched us as we walked from building to building. Most were in the middle of chores. It was obvious that each child, no matter the age, had a responsibility to the house and grounds. Groups of children, some as young as four, worked together to rake leaves and trim bushes. And this was not play. They were really working.
Daddy had to get in on the yard work and helped pick up leaves. As a tiny boy with a rake twice his size got sight of that, his stare faded and he got down to raking to take advantage of someone else being there to pick up all those leaves. Daddy’s work didn’t stop there. He also got involved with sanding the rail on the building. What a task for such a young boy, but each worked with a sense of responsibility and ownership.
SOS is worldwide organization, which operates strictly on private donations. I cannot begin to describe how impressed I am with the care provided for the children. I never want to feel pity for others, but if I were to expect to feel that anywhere it would be in an orphanage. I did not feel pity for these children. I felt compelled to somehow assist SOS in their mission to provide stable care and a means to independent living for these children.
But, I am here with the purpose of finding a child to join our family, to be ours. Although it was doubtful that any of their residents would be ours the director has regular interactions with women who would like to give up their children. Señora Pinto will now make contact with these women through SOS. Hopefully in time, it will become evident who is meant to be ours.
But in the meantime, I think I will have to find a way to support SOS Honduras. Honduras is filled with “missionaries” who provide aid, and although they provide much needed assistance, I am weary of such organizations, because their assistance is tied to a desire to spread their religious agenda, rather than just kindness and compassion to their fellow man. SOS is not affiliated with any religious organization. It provides jobs only to local people, and provides education, childcare, and medical services to children living in their facilities as well as in the community.
Being here strengthened my commitment to adopt a child, regardless of my ability to bare children. My desire to work for social justice has been reawakened. I am no longer here just for us. This is about more than just Charlie and me.
Each morning the newspaper features graphic photos of men and women murdered. Front page stories always revolve around crime. Not too long ago, three cars forced a bus off the road, and the bus passengers were robbed of all belongs, including the clothes on their backs. Although horrific, these passengers’ lives were spared. This case is just one of many, most of which end with bullets to the heads of innocent victims.
Despite this, I took her warning lightly, partly because I still have a naive attitude of a youngish traveler and have seen my share of Honduran villages, but mainly because I felt she was saying it really for our sake as Americans so we wouldn’t be wide eyed viewing the conditions in which people live.
When in Teguz she had a similar disclaimer before taking us to Don Pepe’s for plato typico. I told her I wanted beans, crema, rice, avocado, and I knew she’d come through. She did feel compelled to “warn” us of the condition of the restaurant, as it is in no way American. And sure enough, Don Pepe did not cater to tourists. It was Honduran in each regard, and exactly what I was hoping to find while in Tegucigalpa. I was quite content there, but she wouldn’t even let me use the toilets in Don Pepe.
So I figured this was a similar warning. If she really had concerns about safety, she wouldn’t be driving us there.
The 25 minute drive took us along dirt roads, past horse drawn work carts, and neighborhoods constructed entirely of corrugated tin and cardboard, before arriving at S.O.S. Honduras.
Daddy had thought for the past few days from conversations that we were going to a place called “Oasis”. Although he was wrong about the name, S.O.S. is an absolute oasis for the children who live there as well as the families it services through its community outreach program.
Although it lies near the neighborhoods of extreme poverty where families live in one room, without running water, and use a portion of the river bank just yards from their homes as a dump, SOS Honduras is pristine. Its grounds are filled with neatly trimmed ficus trees surrounded by carefully manicured lawn. The directors greeted us and explained the mission of SOS and the lives of those that live here.
The children at SOS are not considered to be orphans because they have not legally been declared so by the courts; therefore they consider them to be in foster care. That also means that the children are not eligible for adoption, unless specific agreements are reached directly with the child’s parents. Five to eight children live in one of 14 homes with what the director referred to as a “god parent.” These women acting as god parents are all Honduran and typically were unable to earn a livable wage before moving to SOS. They are not paid, but are provided with room and board.
The director proudly showed us the facility, taking us to several homes on the grounds. Each had a few bedrooms, a kitchen, bath, and a small living area. They were modestly furnished and impeccably clean. Each of the little beds was made, and some had the eldest child preparing dinner in the kitchen.
Most impressive were the children. They watched us as we walked from building to building. Most were in the middle of chores. It was obvious that each child, no matter the age, had a responsibility to the house and grounds. Groups of children, some as young as four, worked together to rake leaves and trim bushes. And this was not play. They were really working.
Daddy had to get in on the yard work and helped pick up leaves. As a tiny boy with a rake twice his size got sight of that, his stare faded and he got down to raking to take advantage of someone else being there to pick up all those leaves. Daddy’s work didn’t stop there. He also got involved with sanding the rail on the building. What a task for such a young boy, but each worked with a sense of responsibility and ownership.
SOS is worldwide organization, which operates strictly on private donations. I cannot begin to describe how impressed I am with the care provided for the children. I never want to feel pity for others, but if I were to expect to feel that anywhere it would be in an orphanage. I did not feel pity for these children. I felt compelled to somehow assist SOS in their mission to provide stable care and a means to independent living for these children.
But, I am here with the purpose of finding a child to join our family, to be ours. Although it was doubtful that any of their residents would be ours the director has regular interactions with women who would like to give up their children. Señora Pinto will now make contact with these women through SOS. Hopefully in time, it will become evident who is meant to be ours.
But in the meantime, I think I will have to find a way to support SOS Honduras. Honduras is filled with “missionaries” who provide aid, and although they provide much needed assistance, I am weary of such organizations, because their assistance is tied to a desire to spread their religious agenda, rather than just kindness and compassion to their fellow man. SOS is not affiliated with any religious organization. It provides jobs only to local people, and provides education, childcare, and medical services to children living in their facilities as well as in the community.
Being here strengthened my commitment to adopt a child, regardless of my ability to bare children. My desire to work for social justice has been reawakened. I am no longer here just for us. This is about more than just Charlie and me.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
To Teguz and Back
Another early morning with the alarm set for 4:20 am. We were off to Tegucigalpa, again, but this time we opted for the bus as the weather still looked as though it would prevent any flights.
The bus station has two "gates", both clearly labeled, in attempt to approach some sort of organized system.
Before boarding the bus, many precautions are taken. Each passenger is photographed as bandits have begun to take bus trips as a means to prey on citizens. There is also a search of all bags, a wave of the metal detector wand, and a pretty thorough pat down.
Daddy got a break on his luxury, express bus fare since he is over 60. That 25% discount comes in handy. The $12 fare got us a seat on a large air conditioned bus that made no stops. So in a mere 4.5 hours, we arrived in Tegucigalpa without incident.
The main focus of the trip was to visit IHNFA, The Honduran Institute of the Childhood and the Family. I liken them to the Office of Children's Services in the U.S. Their role in Honduras is still not entirely clear to me, and many have the opinion that they are corrupt. IHNFA would be able to place a child in the care of a family and then certify the adoption. They also must approve any private adoption.
Despite the many abandoned children in Honduras, the IHNFA representative informed me that they would only be willing to place a child over the age of 2 and in need of medical attention in my care. If offered a child and I declined, I would not be permitted to request another child. That's it.
I am not certain as to why things work like this, but my understanding is that IHNFA has unrealistic, unattainable standards to officially declare a child an orphan eligible for adoption. The system undeniably does not benefit the children, but I cannot figure out how those in a position of power benefit from the system. Something must be lost in the translation, because all Hondurans we've spoken to about IHNFA have th opinion that the system stands as a means of benefiting those in power.
Dead end with IHNFA.
I am feeling quite disappointed and frustrated. Why is this quest to become parents so much work. Why can't this one thing be easy, and natural, the way it is for other families.
Daddy notices my "game face" and my attempt to maintain composure. Lunch will make me feel better.
We do enjoy a yummy lunch at Don Pepe (photo to come) and then make our way to pick up some paperwork from an attorney who will also be working on our adoption.
After a short meeting we head back to catch the bus back to San Pedro Sula.
9 hours on the bus and dead end meetings make for quite a stressful, tiring day.
I have to be positive and patient.
When I feel overwhelmed with life Daddy has taught me to think about how I will regard this moment, this day, in six months, a year, five years. So that's the context I need to put today into.
The bus station has two "gates", both clearly labeled, in attempt to approach some sort of organized system.
Before boarding the bus, many precautions are taken. Each passenger is photographed as bandits have begun to take bus trips as a means to prey on citizens. There is also a search of all bags, a wave of the metal detector wand, and a pretty thorough pat down.
Daddy got a break on his luxury, express bus fare since he is over 60. That 25% discount comes in handy. The $12 fare got us a seat on a large air conditioned bus that made no stops. So in a mere 4.5 hours, we arrived in Tegucigalpa without incident.
The main focus of the trip was to visit IHNFA, The Honduran Institute of the Childhood and the Family. I liken them to the Office of Children's Services in the U.S. Their role in Honduras is still not entirely clear to me, and many have the opinion that they are corrupt. IHNFA would be able to place a child in the care of a family and then certify the adoption. They also must approve any private adoption.
Despite the many abandoned children in Honduras, the IHNFA representative informed me that they would only be willing to place a child over the age of 2 and in need of medical attention in my care. If offered a child and I declined, I would not be permitted to request another child. That's it.
I am not certain as to why things work like this, but my understanding is that IHNFA has unrealistic, unattainable standards to officially declare a child an orphan eligible for adoption. The system undeniably does not benefit the children, but I cannot figure out how those in a position of power benefit from the system. Something must be lost in the translation, because all Hondurans we've spoken to about IHNFA have th opinion that the system stands as a means of benefiting those in power.
Dead end with IHNFA.
I am feeling quite disappointed and frustrated. Why is this quest to become parents so much work. Why can't this one thing be easy, and natural, the way it is for other families.
Daddy notices my "game face" and my attempt to maintain composure. Lunch will make me feel better.
We do enjoy a yummy lunch at Don Pepe (photo to come) and then make our way to pick up some paperwork from an attorney who will also be working on our adoption.
After a short meeting we head back to catch the bus back to San Pedro Sula.
9 hours on the bus and dead end meetings make for quite a stressful, tiring day.
I have to be positive and patient.
When I feel overwhelmed with life Daddy has taught me to think about how I will regard this moment, this day, in six months, a year, five years. So that's the context I need to put today into.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Such Is the Adventure
4:20am: Alarm
4:30am: Wake up call 1
4:40 am: Wake up call 2
5:25am: Taxi to aeropuerto
5:50am: Arrive at aeropuerto
6:50am: Scheduled flight to Tegucigalpa
10:10am: Flight canceled
Weather in the higher altitude of the capital, Tegucigalpa, has prevented travel today. We sat in the airport for 4 hours as the flight was delayed several times befire it was finally cancelled. After some debate, Senora Pinto, our attorney, decided we will take the first express bus in the morning.
Patience.
4:30am: Wake up call 1
4:40 am: Wake up call 2
5:25am: Taxi to aeropuerto
5:50am: Arrive at aeropuerto
6:50am: Scheduled flight to Tegucigalpa
10:10am: Flight canceled
Weather in the higher altitude of the capital, Tegucigalpa, has prevented travel today. We sat in the airport for 4 hours as the flight was delayed several times befire it was finally cancelled. After some debate, Senora Pinto, our attorney, decided we will take the first express bus in the morning.
Patience.
Monday, March 05, 2007
And so it begins
This morning we began our day with a breakfast in the hotel.
Beans. Crema. Fruit. Yum! I love the fresh melons, papaya, mango, and pineapple. It always tastes so much sweeter and fresher here.
After breakfast we made our way to the center of the city and wandered around a bit as Daddy reminisced. (Post to come with photos and accounts of his memories.) We also had a short visit with Ernesto, our cousin, before walking to meet Señora Pinto, our attorney.
We had a short meeting with her and made plans for an early morning flight to Tegucigalpa. I had a peculiar nervousness handing over all of our documents to her. That was a great deal of work in that envelope, and made this process the most official yet. On top of those feelings was just the general feeling of anxiety from conducting life changing business in a foreign country.
It's difficult to understand what I am feeling without understanding what it is to be here and be so American. To travel in Central American you must put aside American notions of happiness, success, and fulfillment to truly appreciate the people and culture and what the experience of traveling has to offer. Many Hondurans live in poverty, work for very little, and are content to live out there years in that situation. As an American I have to put aside my expectations for success, as they do not apply to much of the Honduran population. Generally speaking, Hondurans do not pursue education and do not acquire material possessions. There is, of course, a small part of the population that attends school, acquires advanced degrees, and works for monetary benefit beyond the necessities of day to day life. However, the simplicity of life filters into every Honduran.
Things are different. Life is different. Period. I expect it, and that is one of the lessons of life that I have learned only through traveling. And here I find myself having to apply these lessons to a rather momentous event in my life, adopting a child.
Señora Pinto's office exemplifies the cultural difference I am trying to grasp.
She is a well educated woman, practices law in the center of Honduras' biggest city, and her office is typical of any Honduran business woman or man.
The ground floor of her building even has a cistern and the building’s occupants utilize the water.
So here I am, in her humble office, putting the next step of our decision into her hands. And I am nervous. I am scared. Vulnerable. And in another country.
Amazingly I manage to remain composed throughout our meeting. I am a cry baby. No secret there.
It isn't until Daddy and I sit in the lobby of the Sula Hotel that the water works begins. As does Daddy's. It's emotional. It's stressful.
I am frustrated about being unable to convey the moment and the feelings. Perhaps after some time away from the experience I will able to put words to my feelings.
So tomorrow, Teguz.
Beans. Crema. Fruit. Yum! I love the fresh melons, papaya, mango, and pineapple. It always tastes so much sweeter and fresher here.
After breakfast we made our way to the center of the city and wandered around a bit as Daddy reminisced. (Post to come with photos and accounts of his memories.) We also had a short visit with Ernesto, our cousin, before walking to meet Señora Pinto, our attorney.
We had a short meeting with her and made plans for an early morning flight to Tegucigalpa. I had a peculiar nervousness handing over all of our documents to her. That was a great deal of work in that envelope, and made this process the most official yet. On top of those feelings was just the general feeling of anxiety from conducting life changing business in a foreign country.
It's difficult to understand what I am feeling without understanding what it is to be here and be so American. To travel in Central American you must put aside American notions of happiness, success, and fulfillment to truly appreciate the people and culture and what the experience of traveling has to offer. Many Hondurans live in poverty, work for very little, and are content to live out there years in that situation. As an American I have to put aside my expectations for success, as they do not apply to much of the Honduran population. Generally speaking, Hondurans do not pursue education and do not acquire material possessions. There is, of course, a small part of the population that attends school, acquires advanced degrees, and works for monetary benefit beyond the necessities of day to day life. However, the simplicity of life filters into every Honduran.
Things are different. Life is different. Period. I expect it, and that is one of the lessons of life that I have learned only through traveling. And here I find myself having to apply these lessons to a rather momentous event in my life, adopting a child.
Señora Pinto's office exemplifies the cultural difference I am trying to grasp.
She is a well educated woman, practices law in the center of Honduras' biggest city, and her office is typical of any Honduran business woman or man.
The ground floor of her building even has a cistern and the building’s occupants utilize the water.
So here I am, in her humble office, putting the next step of our decision into her hands. And I am nervous. I am scared. Vulnerable. And in another country.
Amazingly I manage to remain composed throughout our meeting. I am a cry baby. No secret there.
It isn't until Daddy and I sit in the lobby of the Sula Hotel that the water works begins. As does Daddy's. It's emotional. It's stressful.
I am frustrated about being unable to convey the moment and the feelings. Perhaps after some time away from the experience I will able to put words to my feelings.
So tomorrow, Teguz.
Room With a View
San Pedro Sula's weather is just like home...hot, humid, and rainy. Today's rain provided us with a view from room 321.
Honduras, Cental America
7.1 million: Population
1.2 million: Unemployed
$3,000: Per capita income
1.8%: Adults with HIV
69: Life expectancy
43,278: Area in square miles (slightly larger than Tennessee)
81%: Mountainous territory
76%: Literacy Rate
13,603 km: Total Roadways
2,775 km: Paved Roadways
504: Calling code
1.282 million: Cell phones
3,973: Internet hosts
97%: Roman Catholic
Sunday, March 04, 2007
San Pedro Sula
The day began with an early morning flight from Louis Armstrong International Airport. With the flight departing to Houston at 7:15 am, arriving at the airport by 5:45 am seemed more than reasonable. The sun was barely out and the airport was packed. The lines at the ticket counter were long, but line to get through security backed up into the check in area. I hope this means business and flights are picking up in our city.
We made it to the gate just in time to board, and the traveling was uneventful.
It has been 3 or so years since I have been here, and flipped through pictures in my mind of Central American landscapes, I couldn't place the scene outside of the airport in San Pedro. Despite this, walking into the main area of the airport, it seemed very familiar, although still much the same as any other airport I've been to in Central America.
Driving into the city I am always impressed by the same two things...Honduran flora and litter. Bougainvillea and hibiscus are everywhere and are in constant bloom. The poor rocky soil along the road doesn't hinder their flowering. The shades of reds, pinks, oranges contrast the litter which scatters the roadways. We passed a small "subdivision" with the body of a rusted car, abandoned right at the corner of the main road. Children were lying on the hood with coke bottles and newspapers tumbling past, but the backdrop was a bougainvillea the size of a tree in full fuchsia bloom.
Daddy and I are staying at the Hilton. It's what you'd expect from a Hilton, right down to it being filled with gringos, but with a few reminders that you're in Honduras: a handful of Honduran television stations, bottled water to make your coffee with, and beans and crema on the room service menu.
My crisis for the day developed shortly after arrival: I forgot my computer charger in New Orleans! I had to check my email. My darling doesn't call me InterGirl for nothing! Daddy wouldn't have me obsessing over my cord, so we found Radio Shack in the mall, and got me back up and running.
I found it very curious that there are not one, but two rather large malls near the hotel which are filled with some rather upscale stores. And I found it even more curious that the mall was packed. American restaurants such as Applebee's, T.G.I.Friday's, Wendy's, Popeye's are established here and doesn't come as much of a surprise. However, with the per capita income being so low, I was surprised to see so many shops with high prices in this mall. I suppose there is money being spent in Honduras, although most of it is held by a small percent of the population.
We then made our way to the heart of every Central American town: the square. With the Cathedral on one end and City Hall on the other, the square is a place always filled with activity whether it is just a few men hanging around or children playing as they walk home from school. Tonight the square was filled with young men wearing soccer jerseys (maybe there was a game?), old men discussing life, and a small band complete with couples dancing. The cathedral had a full house for mass.
As the sun set completely behind the mountains, it was time to seek out some Honduran dinner fare, but first it was a stop to see if we could tell Lesly, Christian's fiancee, hello. Luckily, Lesly was able to leave her job at The Gran Hotel Sula and join us.
After an evening out we have returned to the Hilton for a night of sound sleep. I say that, but I am filled with nervousness and anxiety about what the rest of the week will hold.
The past few months we have been "safely" working towards adoption. The home study and collecting the numerous documents needed were the first steps and they were rather painless, despite being time consuming. Today we have entered into a phase of the process in which we are vulnerable. But I know that you don't get anywhere in life without putting yourself out there and taking a risk. So here we go...
We made it to the gate just in time to board, and the traveling was uneventful.
It has been 3 or so years since I have been here, and flipped through pictures in my mind of Central American landscapes, I couldn't place the scene outside of the airport in San Pedro. Despite this, walking into the main area of the airport, it seemed very familiar, although still much the same as any other airport I've been to in Central America.
Driving into the city I am always impressed by the same two things...Honduran flora and litter. Bougainvillea and hibiscus are everywhere and are in constant bloom. The poor rocky soil along the road doesn't hinder their flowering. The shades of reds, pinks, oranges contrast the litter which scatters the roadways. We passed a small "subdivision" with the body of a rusted car, abandoned right at the corner of the main road. Children were lying on the hood with coke bottles and newspapers tumbling past, but the backdrop was a bougainvillea the size of a tree in full fuchsia bloom.
Daddy and I are staying at the Hilton. It's what you'd expect from a Hilton, right down to it being filled with gringos, but with a few reminders that you're in Honduras: a handful of Honduran television stations, bottled water to make your coffee with, and beans and crema on the room service menu.
My crisis for the day developed shortly after arrival: I forgot my computer charger in New Orleans! I had to check my email. My darling doesn't call me InterGirl for nothing! Daddy wouldn't have me obsessing over my cord, so we found Radio Shack in the mall, and got me back up and running.
I found it very curious that there are not one, but two rather large malls near the hotel which are filled with some rather upscale stores. And I found it even more curious that the mall was packed. American restaurants such as Applebee's, T.G.I.Friday's, Wendy's, Popeye's are established here and doesn't come as much of a surprise. However, with the per capita income being so low, I was surprised to see so many shops with high prices in this mall. I suppose there is money being spent in Honduras, although most of it is held by a small percent of the population.
We then made our way to the heart of every Central American town: the square. With the Cathedral on one end and City Hall on the other, the square is a place always filled with activity whether it is just a few men hanging around or children playing as they walk home from school. Tonight the square was filled with young men wearing soccer jerseys (maybe there was a game?), old men discussing life, and a small band complete with couples dancing. The cathedral had a full house for mass.
As the sun set completely behind the mountains, it was time to seek out some Honduran dinner fare, but first it was a stop to see if we could tell Lesly, Christian's fiancee, hello. Luckily, Lesly was able to leave her job at The Gran Hotel Sula and join us.
After an evening out we have returned to the Hilton for a night of sound sleep. I say that, but I am filled with nervousness and anxiety about what the rest of the week will hold.
The past few months we have been "safely" working towards adoption. The home study and collecting the numerous documents needed were the first steps and they were rather painless, despite being time consuming. Today we have entered into a phase of the process in which we are vulnerable. But I know that you don't get anywhere in life without putting yourself out there and taking a risk. So here we go...
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Honduras Bound
I am headed to San Pedro Sula, Honduras on Sunday to begin the process of adoption. Daddy will be with me to help facilitate the process. We will travel to Tegucigalpa, Honduras' capital city, to petition the courts for status of potential adoptive parents, as well as begin a search for children who are eligible for adoption.
This should go without saying, but I am a so very nervous about it all. I can handle it being a long process, but want it to be successful. Handling disappointment is not my strong suit, especially as disappointment has become cumulative in the last few months with fertility treatment. Having no idea what to expect is also not easy for me, being a planner, control freak type. Daddy should have lots of fun with me!
And then there is the nervousness that comes if this all does work out as planned...parenthood, life changes, new routines. But, honestly, I am nowhere near that phase of nervousness. Maybe by the end of the week I will be. Keep your fingers crossed.
I will document the experience here, so check back!
Oh, and when I return I will also document the state of things on Bordeaux Street after Charlie and the pooches revel in their bachelor lifestyle for the week...smile.
This should go without saying, but I am a so very nervous about it all. I can handle it being a long process, but want it to be successful. Handling disappointment is not my strong suit, especially as disappointment has become cumulative in the last few months with fertility treatment. Having no idea what to expect is also not easy for me, being a planner, control freak type. Daddy should have lots of fun with me!
And then there is the nervousness that comes if this all does work out as planned...parenthood, life changes, new routines. But, honestly, I am nowhere near that phase of nervousness. Maybe by the end of the week I will be. Keep your fingers crossed.
I will document the experience here, so check back!
Oh, and when I return I will also document the state of things on Bordeaux Street after Charlie and the pooches revel in their bachelor lifestyle for the week...smile.
Friday, February 09, 2007
First Things First
So, perhaps this post should have preceded my "preapproval" post...sorry, wasn't even thinking. I've gotten some emails and calls since that post and realized a little background information may be needed. This has been something that we have been working on for some time, and take for granted that we aren't in regular contact with everyone to keep them posted on our family developments!
Even before we got married, when discussing what our family would one day look like, we always imagined having an adopted child (or two). We both felt there was no need to bring another child into the world when there are so many who already need homes and love. It was never thought of as a stretch to open our home and hearts to a child, and love him/her as any other child we would have.
I began casually researching adoption when we decided to start a family. I knew it would be a lengthy process and figured it didn't hurt to start looking at what we would eventually be getting ourselves into.
Of course we also thought we'd have one (or two) "biological" kids, but when that was not working out as planned, I became a bit more aggressive in my research, and more aggressive still when fertility treatments were unsuccessful.
So we have decided, at this time, to pursue an international adoption. We have decided to first try to adopt a child from Honduras without the help of an agency.
Decisions go a bit like this:
International or domestic: Domestic adoptions take up to five years and those done through the Office of Child Services can be an emotional roller coaster as often it takes several years to "free" a child for adoption. Private domestic adoptions take five years and are comparable in cost to international adoptions ($25,000 - $30,000). While an OCS adoption is free, we didn't think that we wanted to take a child in as a foster child, and run the risk of his family being able to one day regain custody.
Agency: Well, the obvious factors here are reputation and cost. I have found a few (two) reputable agencies, but again, the cost is a big factor. They all have fees of between $20,000 and $40,000 depending on the country. We thought is would be worth giving it a go without an agency just to see if this is something we can orchestrate on our own in an attempt to save several thousand dollars.
Country: International adoptions are on the rise, especailly the adoption of girls from China. Babies of every skin tone and hair color are out there. We're not so concerned with finding a baby that "looks like us" so that isn't an issue. Something to consider is the varying health conditions of the babies available for adoption, and this certainly varies by country. The girls from China are healthy, and are primarily available for adoption because they are female. We decided that for our first child we would like to find a baby with minimal health related issues, only because we have been through a great deal of personal stress in the last 18 months and aren't ready to compound the difficulty of adjusting to parenthood. So, China would be a likely choice, but because we are trying to go without an agency at this time, we decided upon Honduras because Dad would be an enormous source of help and support.
After making those decisions, we began making contact in Honduras and acquiring the necessary documents the Honduran courts will require. We have had extensive background checks, we have had comprehensive physical exams, including HIV testing, and have completed a home study with a licensed adoption agency, Volunteers of America.
The previous adoption post was a result of our home study. In addition to the social worker's interviews and investigation of our backgournds, a few friends were provided with recommendations to return to VOA. We are thankful they took the time to complete these with such care, and support our decision to start our family through adoption.
So that is where we are now with this process. I am currently researching what is needed from U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) and planning a trip to Honduras.
Many, many posts to on...
Even before we got married, when discussing what our family would one day look like, we always imagined having an adopted child (or two). We both felt there was no need to bring another child into the world when there are so many who already need homes and love. It was never thought of as a stretch to open our home and hearts to a child, and love him/her as any other child we would have.
I began casually researching adoption when we decided to start a family. I knew it would be a lengthy process and figured it didn't hurt to start looking at what we would eventually be getting ourselves into.
Of course we also thought we'd have one (or two) "biological" kids, but when that was not working out as planned, I became a bit more aggressive in my research, and more aggressive still when fertility treatments were unsuccessful.
So we have decided, at this time, to pursue an international adoption. We have decided to first try to adopt a child from Honduras without the help of an agency.
Decisions go a bit like this:
International or domestic: Domestic adoptions take up to five years and those done through the Office of Child Services can be an emotional roller coaster as often it takes several years to "free" a child for adoption. Private domestic adoptions take five years and are comparable in cost to international adoptions ($25,000 - $30,000). While an OCS adoption is free, we didn't think that we wanted to take a child in as a foster child, and run the risk of his family being able to one day regain custody.
Agency: Well, the obvious factors here are reputation and cost. I have found a few (two) reputable agencies, but again, the cost is a big factor. They all have fees of between $20,000 and $40,000 depending on the country. We thought is would be worth giving it a go without an agency just to see if this is something we can orchestrate on our own in an attempt to save several thousand dollars.
Country: International adoptions are on the rise, especailly the adoption of girls from China. Babies of every skin tone and hair color are out there. We're not so concerned with finding a baby that "looks like us" so that isn't an issue. Something to consider is the varying health conditions of the babies available for adoption, and this certainly varies by country. The girls from China are healthy, and are primarily available for adoption because they are female. We decided that for our first child we would like to find a baby with minimal health related issues, only because we have been through a great deal of personal stress in the last 18 months and aren't ready to compound the difficulty of adjusting to parenthood. So, China would be a likely choice, but because we are trying to go without an agency at this time, we decided upon Honduras because Dad would be an enormous source of help and support.
After making those decisions, we began making contact in Honduras and acquiring the necessary documents the Honduran courts will require. We have had extensive background checks, we have had comprehensive physical exams, including HIV testing, and have completed a home study with a licensed adoption agency, Volunteers of America.
The previous adoption post was a result of our home study. In addition to the social worker's interviews and investigation of our backgournds, a few friends were provided with recommendations to return to VOA. We are thankful they took the time to complete these with such care, and support our decision to start our family through adoption.
So that is where we are now with this process. I am currently researching what is needed from U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) and planning a trip to Honduras.
Many, many posts to on...
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Pre Approved
We're not buying a car or opening a credit card account....
We want to be parents, and we've been preapproved! How do you like that!
Exercising its authority as a child-placing agency licensed by the state of Louisiana, Volunteers of America of the Greater New Orleans, Inc. is pleased to approve Frederick S*, Jr. and Erin O* for the adoption of a child from birth up to two years of age from Honduras.
The report further states...
Frederick and Erin are a very strong and solid couple. They enjoy a simple life focused on each other as well as their family and close network of friends. They enjoy each other’s company as well as their respective work areas. They are very mature and face the challenges in their lives head-on and with strength. Frederick and Erin are very genuine and thoughtful. I believe they will make devoted parents to a child they will adopt. They will provide all opportunities for their adopted child to learn and grow in a strong, committed family. Frederick and Erin will love a child and participate fully in their child’s education and activities. It is my professional opinion that they will provide a loving and supportive home environment to an adopted child and will remain committed to their growth and maturity in all aspects of development throughout their lives.
Thank you to our wonderful friends who took the time to write glowing recommendations for us. Although the social worker did not share these with us, she quotes some of the references and I am pretty sure I know who said what. Even though she did not include Lee's "Just call me" response because he didn't have enough room to say all that he wanted to say about his friend, we were able to read how much we are loved and supported. We are filled with appreciation and gratitude and look forward to sharing the experiences of our growing families.
Although it is not a requirement of parenthood, I highly recommend the process of "preapproval" through a home study. It was costly and time consuming (and I am not even talking about the hours we spent cleaning the house before the social worker's visits!), but reassuring that we are commited to each other and our family and we will work together in becoming good parents. The home study allowed us to talk about things I already "knew" but hearing it and talking about it affirmed it...why we love each other, what our strengths as individuals and a couple are, how we problem solve, how our talents and skills will translate to being parents...all of those things that life seems to get in the way of people ever really discussing.
So it is now that this part our journey begins.
We want to be parents, and we've been preapproved! How do you like that!
Exercising its authority as a child-placing agency licensed by the state of Louisiana, Volunteers of America of the Greater New Orleans, Inc. is pleased to approve Frederick S*, Jr. and Erin O* for the adoption of a child from birth up to two years of age from Honduras.
The report further states...
Frederick and Erin are a very strong and solid couple. They enjoy a simple life focused on each other as well as their family and close network of friends. They enjoy each other’s company as well as their respective work areas. They are very mature and face the challenges in their lives head-on and with strength. Frederick and Erin are very genuine and thoughtful. I believe they will make devoted parents to a child they will adopt. They will provide all opportunities for their adopted child to learn and grow in a strong, committed family. Frederick and Erin will love a child and participate fully in their child’s education and activities. It is my professional opinion that they will provide a loving and supportive home environment to an adopted child and will remain committed to their growth and maturity in all aspects of development throughout their lives.
Thank you to our wonderful friends who took the time to write glowing recommendations for us. Although the social worker did not share these with us, she quotes some of the references and I am pretty sure I know who said what. Even though she did not include Lee's "Just call me" response because he didn't have enough room to say all that he wanted to say about his friend, we were able to read how much we are loved and supported. We are filled with appreciation and gratitude and look forward to sharing the experiences of our growing families.
Although it is not a requirement of parenthood, I highly recommend the process of "preapproval" through a home study. It was costly and time consuming (and I am not even talking about the hours we spent cleaning the house before the social worker's visits!), but reassuring that we are commited to each other and our family and we will work together in becoming good parents. The home study allowed us to talk about things I already "knew" but hearing it and talking about it affirmed it...why we love each other, what our strengths as individuals and a couple are, how we problem solve, how our talents and skills will translate to being parents...all of those things that life seems to get in the way of people ever really discussing.
So it is now that this part our journey begins.
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