Mama: {After exchanging big hugs and kisses} I'm so happy to see you. I missed you today.
Long pause
Freddie: I just missed you a little bit. (said with a tone that definitely meant he was just saying that to be kind)
And then I felt badly for making him feel badly for not missing me. Sigh.
**********
Sunday nights at our house always conclude with our reviewing what a great weekend we had and how nice it was to be together, to have Dada home with us, and how Mondays and getting back tot he weekly routine can be hard. Although I know Freddie loves his weekends with us, the boy very much enjoys his own life, as he should. Perhaps Mondays aren't really hard for him the way they are for me.
The Monday afternoon conversation continued so I could let Freddie know I am happy he doesn't miss me. He doesn't need miss me, I only want for him to be happy and happy on his own doing his own thing. That's what Mamas really, really want.
This Mama gig is hard. How do I explain my heart fully to a five year old especially when I don't even understand it myself.
1 comment:
This Mama gig IS hard! I struggle with the same things you are struggling with and Gab is 23 now! Donald and I raised our daughter to be an independent woman who doesn't NEED anyone to take care of her and she IS and it makes me so SAD because she doesn't NEED me to take care of her! I want her to be closer to home so we can spend more quality time together and she wants to be on her own in Lafayette doing her own thing. ARRRGGGHHH!!!!
Post a Comment